Godzilla throwing meatballs and a cubicle dream...

The screen glows in front of my face and I am staring into the void that my fellow countrymen do. It's often struck me queer, are people unable to live with the contentedness of their thoughts and actually deal with their thoughts? This repetition was killing my fingers and it seemed every fifteen minutes I had to run off to the pisser to take a short meditation on the toilet.
"Hi, you are the new guy?" a voice comes out of the nowhere.
Back at my desk.
"You guessed right,"
My attention went to the person. A dude.
"How are you liking it?" he asked taking note of my tie.
The tie was blue and yellow.
"Is that a trick question?"
We laughed in unison.
"Let's have lunch," he demanded.
So we did.

We met in the parking lot around 12:00 and he picked me up in his red Charger. There was some talk of going to McDonalds but we settled on this little Spanish joint in the cut that you'd have to kinda know the knowledge of the area in order to find. I felt like early European settlers slashing our way through the vast wilderness that Tocqueville wrote about. By the first ten minutes of sitting with someone in the car, you get the general idea of what kind of personality someone has. He loved talking about himself and had a manipulative way of trying to twist his stories into something that was clearly not true.
I ordered a long Cuban sandwich.
"You gotta girl?" he asked.
"I think so,"
There were no onions in my sandwich.
"I just need someone to talk to bro, I mean you are a good listener, you are smart,"
They used American cheese.
"Bro I've been with this girl for years and our families are pressuring us to get married but I don't know if I can afford it and she is kind of controlling," he explains.
Kind of like Archer's fastball control.
"I love her and all. She is awesome in bed but she never lets me hang out with my boys," he continued.
Something told me had didn't have any "boys" to hang out with.
"I don't really have friends,"
Run with no tribe.
"If I go out, she texts me every five minutes and thinks I'm out doing something bad," he cried while biting into his sandwich.
"Then don't do anything wrong,"
The coffee was good too. Cafe con leche.
"I was doing a lot of pills and coke," he sighed.
I was too but I never got caught.
"Yeah,"
"What should I do bro?" he asked.
Fuck if I knew bubba.
"Get a hobby?"
He laughed but I was sincere.
"You are a cool guy bro,"
No I wasn't.

Saturday night. Big game. Andriese took on Tanaka. We got to him opening day and were hoping to exploit that. Bottom 1st. C-Dicks CRUSHES one. 1-0. Top 2nd Aaron Judge LAUNCHES one. 1-1. Bottom 2nd Jesus HATH SPOKEN DOUBLE IN A RUN MY SONS. THALL SHALL DO. 2-1. Bottom 3rd Longo CRUSHES one with that smooth swing to left field. Tanaka nearly crying. 3-1. Godzilla aint saving you bubba. Top 4th Chase Headly doubles in two runs. Ugh. 3-3. Bottom 4th. Corey Dickerson GOES YARD on a three run bomb. 6-3. TAMPA BAY. Top 5th. Scary Gary launches one to center. 6-4. The New York transplants go wild. They only know two emotions anyhow. Drunken and disorderly. New York state of mind. Illmatic. Bottom 5th. KK singles in a run and Lomo singles in two more. Tanaka is sent home yet again to the beach. He was extremely vetted out of this one. NOT fake news bubs. Some plunking began when fuck boy Tommy Layne sent a fastball to our All-Star C-Dicks. Sup bitch? Like the class we are, he walked it off. Warnings sent out. Top 6th. Andriese sends a fastball to Aaron Judge's ribs. SUCK IT. Judge walked it off because his intellect is the size of a peanut. "I like the beach and steak," he commented after the game. Andriese ejected. Bottom 5th OG Devil Rays manager Larry Rothschild was ejected for being a geriatric and inept. This followed up with a little display of slight mental down syndrome when Joe Girardi was inspired by Picasso's blue period and pained home plate with his hands. I shall call it "my trash". Ejected. You can find him autographing baseballs at an Arby's in South St. Pete. No matter. Top 6th. Headly adds on but this wasn't enough because former Yankee (and born again Ray) Chase Whitley dealt to this old team with his beard because here in Tampa Bay we believe in being yourself. Not a robotic tool. A-Rod reference. Wanna hear a joke? A-Rod's career! Andriese was ejected but left with a standing ovation 5.0 IP 6 H 5 R 5 ER 0 B 5 K 2 H. Treat yourself to something nice. He pitched up in the zone and those Yankee hitters made hard contact but he still limited the damage. Chase Whitely following up with 3.0 IP with 1 H against his former team, that was impressive too. Of all people Jumbo Diaz shut the door with 2 K 1 B and had Brett Gardner ground out. Meanwhile The Boston Fuck Heads lost pushing the Rays into third place. Only 4.0 back out of first. YES.
If Snell and Honeywell/Faria come to the rise, what happens next? Time for a run? Matt Duffy coming up? Ramos on the way? Tommy Hunter playing too? Oh my god, I'm starting to believe...
"Yeah the guys played good and well, yeah, you know we're like playing sound baseball," Kevin Cash says.
Nine times outta ten I hate him but not this weekend. Looking for a sweep. Send them home miserable and unwanted because your salaries aint buying you a championship.

We went back to work and smiled.