Glasnow Strike Out Four, Willy-Meadows-Zunino get Whicked and The Tampa Bay Complex...

I passed out on some beach somewhere near Port Charlotte, crawled back to our hotel room, slept all day and Yarbrough didn't do much Saturday. Sunday rolls around and we find ourselves back at the ballpark where The New York Yankees came down and Tyler Glasnow got the start.

“Hit this before we go in,” my buddy demands.

“Sure,”

Everything went awry.

Yankee fans are an odd breed. They wave their flags, they seem to love the police and fire department more than other cities and have some extremely whack ass tattoos.

Tyler Glasnow is a big dude who throws really hard. He's incorporated this step into his delivery this year to throw off the timing of batters but this had mixed results. Glasnow got four strike outs but also gave up some really hard contact and a couple of home runs. Despite all of the velocity he has (and a really sexy breaking pitch) there is little movement on that fastball which causes a little concern. All in all, his outing was a little worrisome but could definitely improve. There's no doubt Glasnow is a key part to the rotation. Yonny Chirinos looked OK too but hitters were getting contact with his sinker. Advanced scouting is a bitch. Glansow and Chirinos threw a couple of wild pitches to add insult to injury. Krook got one strike out. NEAT. Another pitcher that stood out was Ricardo Pinto. Hard throwing right hander and had good results today. Stanek got bombed to the stone ages too. The opener guy looked like he was just toying with his FB command. No worries bruh. Milner looked good too. I guess the new thing is pitch like Adam Kolarek. Lego my ego. They were experimenting with Choi at 1B and let's just be clear, this has to end. Soon. Nothing good is going to come from this and they need to either let Nate Lowe take over the job or find something lingering in the trash can. Lomo reunion? Meadows leading off looks pretty solid. He kinda reminds me of Corey Dickerson but with a prettier swing and batting stance. Pham had a hit and K'd twice. Adames, Zunino and Meadows went deep. That was dope, it actually woke up the Rays fans there and shut up Yankee fans. Cronenworth sure looks like a natural at short stop. Speaking of Zunino, dude could not throw anyone out today to save his life. Lay off that Seattle bud bro. I feel bad for Kean Wong, homeboy is destined to get stuck in AAA or get dealt. Jesus Sanchez got some reps in the OF and lined a hard one to short stop but that kid is going to be a monster (he already is). I really like what I saw from Nate Lowe at 1B. Homeboy can handle the glove and like the fact he has power from the left side (isn't that your prototype for first base though?) and Bonifacio needs to go. Soon.

Something loomed inside of me today while being obliterated and that is the lucrative question of does baseball work in Tampa Bay? There's no denying the Yankees loyal have been around since the Jurassic ages and has been passed down to one asshole to the next but to keep things locally I thought deeply about if The Rays are going to stay in Tampa Bay and how could this work? How do you get fans to stay fans, spend money and feed the business? Simple. Ownership. I truly believe when the Rays FO got rid of Joe Maddon and Co. along with shipping off all of the beloved players this was a dagger into the heart of (an already small) fan base and is a hard sell for people to drive forty five minutes plus to get to a game, park, pay, etc (in a stadium that feels like an over sized Sam's Club) going to watch players the average fan does not know. Explaining trades to children is a futile game. I am under the strong notion that if there was an ownership who were to step in, move the team to a real ballpark that actually has a baseball atmosphere to it and good location accessible to people and actually cares about the city, it could work. The Tampa Bay Lightning are the defining example of this in Tampa Bay. The reality is, The Rays leaving is a very real reality and only time will tell what will happen.

“Hooters is giving away free beer again,” my buddy said.

So we went. Again.

Spring Training Has Begun...

“Hey you worthless fuck, get up!” this guy yells at me.

I slept on the bench somewhere in downtown Tampa. My eyes barely awoke and some obese guy in a security jacket kicked me out. Just across the street, on the corner of North Franklin and Polk Street.

“You cannot sleep here you lazy fuck!” he roared.

“I don't remember how I got here,”

A girl walking her little dog strolled by and looked at her watch and had white headphones in her ear.

“GO!” he yelled.

The man was panting and you could tell her was easing closer to cardiac arrest.

“Ok,”

I snagged bus 32 and headed back towards my happy abode.

As I exited the bus, it dawned in me what day it was...FIRST DAY OF SPRING TRAINING. Already, the adrenaline (no not the synthetic kind) was pulsing through my veins. As I headed to my room, this dude I see ever so often, was standing there smoking and staring at me.

“Sup bro,” he says.

“Hey there,”

“Guess what?” he asked.

“You have beer?”

“Even better,” he says with a smirk.

What could be better than a substance that helped me escape reality?

“I have tickets to today's game in Port Charlotte,” he announced.

“Let's go,”

I was excited to see the boys, moreover to see Colin Poche this guy everyone seems to rant and rave over. US-41 is the road we took and coasts down the Gulf side of Florida where it goes through small towns where the old people go to die and others get fried. We approached Port Charlotte and took a couple more shots of this cheap whiskey I bought for the trip. There it was as we approached it on ole El Jobean Road...the only thing that brings me total bliss and harmony and escape from this horrible state we live in. We parked and saw flocks of geriatrics who were over weight and were probably gonna die soon. I rushed us to the park, got inside, bought a ten dollar beer and sat down and saw the boys get to work. Austin Pruitt got the start and we watched our lord and savor for the Tampa Bay Rays franchise Kevin Kiermaier lose track of a routine pop fly, back peddled, fall down, tracked the ball down and hosed it back into the infield. Pruitt gave up a run, the perpetual dude who gets DFA'd Oliver Drake looked pretty descent (with a strike out), Colin Poche REALLY struggled with his command. Strike out one Philly swinging then walked three more and eventually got the hook. Whatevs, first day of Spring can do that. Hunter Wood looked pretty similar from last year (fighting for that pen spot bubba), Kittredge had a solid outing and hopefully fights CC Sabathia (the real key is punch his fat ass right in the spleen). Yandy Diaz is a monster and watched him strike out swinging. Tommy Pham looked like he was ready to ball and a pair of hits. Ji-Man Choi got this years first RBI so that was dope, OG Stone Crab Jake Cronenworth got some play time and did very little, Willy Adames had a hit along with D-Rob. Possible front runner for the first baseman job Nate Lowe was out there getting some reps in too. Kean Wong was out there fielding and hitting nothing. Have they thought about signing an Evan Gattis to a strict DH role? Just saying... Emilio Bonifacio had some nice Abs but don't be fooled, he is serious trash and needs to be left at the beach in Punta Gorda. They lost but who cares, Rays Baseball is back. Apparently there is some rumor about the Rays time sharing with Montreal? Is there even rays in the water there? Trippin mon frere.

I left elated and so happy baseball was back, my skin was crispy from the sun and lots of diaphoretic obese geriatrics swarmed to the AC of their cars. In the herd you could spot many clueless souls wearing their Red Sox gear. Pretty sure Fort Myers is thirty minutes south but one has to remember most people who are Red Sox fans are generally mentally inept beyond repair. There's a Hooters we went to in town (well, at an intersection) where everyone congregates after the game to look at an illusion of beauty.

“Y'all getting some pitchers?” the girl with braces and thick make up asked.

“You know it!” my buddy yells and lights a cigarette.

The girl looked no older than nineteen.

“I'd hit it,” my buddy murmurs.

She came back with two pitchers of lite beer.

“What do you do around here for fun?” he asked her.

She laughed and exposed her bright braces and the cracks of her makeup on her cheeks.

“Fish but my boyfriend lives in Naples so I go down there all of the time,” she explained while glancing at the check.

Aka homeboy had money.

“I will take...” my buddy began.

I observed the girl in my peripheral while pretending to glance at the menu and realized every Hooters girl looked the same and had that same robotic hybrid laugh.

“I'll take some wings,”

She wrote it down and went inside.

Rays Baseball was back...

Nine Prospects in Baseball America's Top 100

“That'll be five dollars sir,” the brown little man behind the counter confessed.

“Er...” the white dude with a paid shirt murmured while digging through his pocket while simultaneously staring into the vortex of his phone.

I swear to god, these millennials could not socialize correctly with a wall if they were forced to.

“Sir?” the brown little man asked.

“HURRY THE FUCK UP!” a black dude behind me roared.

He was three times the size of everyone in line.

My daily ritual was wake up, puff the pipe a little and stroll up the 7-11 on Hillsborough and Nebraska and essentially gaze upon everything and nothing.

“I...err...” the millenial stuttered.

The off season had me by the balls.

“MAN YOU BETTER...” the dude behind me roared.

I read yesterday how Mallex slammed Tampa Bay indirectly at a press conference in Seattle about how there are no fans in the stands in Tropicana Field. The simple reality is, it's true and if you deny it, well, wake up!

The kid paid, I paid and back to room 301 I went.

While en route to my room, I had already put down a couple of beers and was already feeling the buzz. My uncle was kind enough to buy me a subscription of Baseball America and the only way I could retrieve it was online due to my urban outdoors ways of living. I puffed the pipe a little bit and found the Rays had nine (yes NINE!) prospects in the top 100 throughout baseball! Let's start from the bottom and work our way up shall we?

Knock! Knock!

There's that package. I opened the door to find one of my degenerate neighbors standing there, smoking a cigarette and reeking of stale urine.

“Hey man, can I borrow some? Let me just get a hit,” he pleaded.

Dude had it bad.

“Sure, come in.”

We sat down, passed the pipe back and forth. Our minds trailed off and I found myself staring into the screen again. Coming in at a hot 97, first baseman Nate Lowe. Big burly left handed batter, the guy made a serious adjustment in his swing and apparently is a plus defender. Perhaps the better version of Logan Morrison? I think so. Brandon Lowe found himself in the majors and also finds himself at 93 on the list. I like him at 2B but with Joey Wendle not going anywhere, it's going to be interesting to see where he slots in this year. Another left handed batter and figuring it out on the fly. I like it! At 64 Vidal Brujan (yet another 2B!) still in the lower parts of the minors, he'll only get better! Hot in at 62 the prized possession the Marlins want (and better not get!) Ofer Jesus Sanchez. Homeboy is athletic, durable and hits hard from the left side. He better not go anywhere. 58 is 2018' draft pick LHP Matthew Liberatore who is making strides and with Rays coaching, you can expect him to accelerate more so this year. Number 56 belongs to C Ronaldo Hernandez who was converted from an IF position into a catcher and well, it looks they made the right move. Athletic and hits for power, who needs a Realmuto anyhow? At 47 2017' draft pick, two-way-phenom Brendan McKay pitching from the left side and at 1B, it's clear the Rays see him as doing both. He's a good LHP and a plus defender at first (despite some injuries) and struggled slightly to hit in HiA. Number 23 and number 4 are the two who make this team truly a team that will go all of the way. These two are, OUR DUDES. Number 23 is RHP Brent Honeywell who seems to have an arsenal better than any army in the world which includes a screwball. I saw him pitch in Miami in 2017' while snorting a couple of bumps in the bathroom and in 18' everyone knew his debut was coming and went down with Tommy John. No matter, he will be back and strong. At number 4, the dude who came from nowhere, who is seventeen years of age, short stop Wander Franco. Switch hitter, power and speed and everything you want from a franchise player. I cannot wait to see him live.

“Okay, time to sleep,”

My neighbor left, I black out and fell slept with a smile on my face.

JT Realmuto and The Rays

The back of my eyelids told me it was something around high noon (but then again, I lived in a perpetual state of distortion).

My dream got the best of me over the evening, in particular about this off season and how slow it has been. The old face of the franchise Evan Longoria moaned and groaned about how Bryce Harper and Manny Machado have not been awarded one billion dollar contracts. It's kinda sick to think that the poor fuckers who scoop me out of the gutters and throw me into the pen get paid significantly less than “the idols” who step into the batters' box. This is America. In the Bay area side of things, apparently the Rays had been on JT Realmuto. I took a sip of cheap whiskey I got up the street.

The asking price certainly would be high, Realmuto is still controllable for another two seasons and could certainly be signed an extension for a young dude behind the dish who can hit from the right side and can play call a game. Not bad for a team in need. Where do The Rays fit into this? They don't. They don't need him and certainly not to give up Jesus Sanchez for him. Absolutely not. If they did that, it'd be absolutely stupid on all accounts. The OF situation is always crowded but Jesus Sanchez is the future and want to build on the tall left handed batter and a young ripe guy for the future.

I put my pencil down and lit up my crack pipe. I opened the Tampa newspaper who covered all things Tampa Bay and read some words and immediately set down the paper. I tend to forget sometimes why I never bother with it. It was chilly outside so I took a stroll.

On the corner of Nebraska and Hillsborough my old pal Durbo was waiting for this bus.

“Sup boi?” he stammers.

“Hey,”

“You puffin on dat good stuff dawg?” he laughed.

“You know it,”

“How bout dem Rays this year, you think they gonna do it?” he chuckled some more.

“I guess,”

Durbo was a small stocky sort.

“You tryin to go downtown with me dawg? I gots to go to court,”

I didn't even question him.

“Sure,”

Durbo had gold teeth and we knew each other from our lavish times in a run down motel off Florida and Hillsborough where we partied to the break of down with some cheap cocaine and a bottle of unknown bourbon. The headache was immense and I woke up with a serious case of lice.

We jumped on bus 7 en route to downtown.

“You still writing about dem Rays dawg?” he asks.

Writing would be a far stretch to say...

“Sure,”

He laughed out loud.

“Man dawg, why you even botha? No one even gives a shit,” he snickered.

That was a valid point.

“Well, I care,”

He seemed perplexed by my answer.

“Does Longo still play for them?” he asked.

Not for a minute.

“No. Longo just likes to complain about not making more millions of dollars,”

This resonated well with Durbo.

“Man I tell ya,” he said.

Every time Durbo smiled, his teeth glow brighter than any Florida rays. We got off downtown and he went to court and I went to The Hub. The Hub is a timeless place in midst of a gentrifying downtown Tampa where smoke looms, the drinks poured stiff and people are realer than most.

ESPN was on TV and a picture of Realmuto was on there. The bartender was an avid Rays fan like me.

“What do you think is going to happen to him?” he asked.

Fuck if I knew.

“As long as he doesn't come here, I could see him go to Atlanta,”

I ordered a coke and whiskey.

“They'd have to give up a top ten prospect and some. I could see them asking for Sanchez, Solak and two pitchers they like,” he explained.

This is what I fear the most.

“You are probably right,”

I drank wee into the afternoon, blacked out and woke up in my bed...somehow/someway.

Off Season 2018-19

After September ended it seemed so did my life. You know things are getting bad when the television screen is blaring the Red Sox storming the field in a World Series win while you are in a roach motel off Nebraska Avenue with one gram of heroin going intravenous into the right forearm. Whatever. Strawberry left me. The stadium in Ybor flopped. They traded Mallex. The Rays might be leaving town. Tommy Pham hates playing here. Jake Bauers got dealt and I'm swimming above the line of poverty. So what I couldn't support my children? It takes two to tangle right? I walked down Nebraska to the 7-11 at the intersection of Hillsborough and Nebraska to get a four pack of Budweiser.

I browsed the sections of chips and candy to see what I could mix with the beer.

“Hey man, gimme dat,” this dude with a thick Jersey accent demands.

Kid behind the counter could not be older than eighteen. He looked mortified.

“Do you not speak English you stupid fuck?!” he roars.

A couple of bystanders in line say nothing.

“Why don't you give the kid a break?” I cry.

He looks over. The guy is light skinned, a scar under his left orbital and has placid black squirrel eyes.

“What's it to ya, ya fuck?!” he roars.

I mentally notice his stained white tank top.

“No need to be rude,”

“FUCK YOU!” he snaps.

He comes at me and I jab him right where the scar is.

A period of blackout ensues and I wake up to TPD around me. From what I gather, some other bystander got me and apparently hit me in the medulla oblongata perhaps causing a period of total paralysis. They let me go and the whop was arrested on some account of aggravated battery.

I wandered back down to The Florida Motel (where I'd been crashing) to drift back into my thoughts. You see, I spent this off season trying to recover from my losses,..the children, Mallex, The Ybor Stadium and Strawberry. There was an ambitious period of attempting to write about The Buccanneers which ended prematurely considering that seemed like a hopeless voyage and well, let's be real, there's only one thing that stirs my cranium sponge...I set up my little home made IV kit on the stand, microwaved some old coffee that was sitting in the pot and set down all of the off season moves The Rays have made thus far. I began to ready the gram of heroin to flow into my left forearm and jotted down what came to mind first.

They went out and traded Mallex for Zunino (a catcher), Heredia (another OF dude) and a minor leaguer LHP Plassmeyer. Rumor is on the street they are still in JT Realmuto. Why trade the farm for this guy anyhow when you got Perez, Ciuffo and not Zunino? It looks like the FO believes in Zunino coming back to life with his bat because his glove sure is good. They signed Charlie Morton which makes a lot of sense unless homeboy gets hurt and they get nothing out of him. Snell, Morton, Glasnow seems pretty sweet out of the gate. Cannot wait to see Honeywell and DeLeon come back from their injuries. Poche is probably going to be up at some point if he can sustain last year's success. Is someone really in love with Olivier Drake or do they just love playing with this poor guys' emotions? Meh. They got rid of little man Jaime Shultz and forced the hand of former brain Friedman straight outta' Compton (LA that is) for yet another RHP in Caleb Sampen. They then went out and signed Avisail Garcia to a one year deal which now seems pretty risky BUT chico was a 4.0+ WAR player in 17' so it could be a sneaky good signing. So glad The Rays play in division with the two richest teams in the league. Apparently this is the off season where the FO goes out and grabs trash out of the White Sox parking lot à la Matt Davidson. In a flurry of December the FO makes a shit ton of moves involving Jake Bauers which in hind sight seems very odd and weird. Gonna miss bubba's swing. They dealt him a complicated trade and received 3B Yandy Diaz and RHP Cole Sulser. Someone is horny for young controllable pitching but then prior they made more crazy trades involving young pitching and got back RHP Emilio Pagan and RHP Rollie Lacy. I read this morning Josh Harrison is on their radar which would leave one to believe someone is getting left at The Hooters in Port Charlotte. If that person is Christian Arroyo, that's cool. Duffman might be out the door too with his old broken down truck. They signed a handful of other clowns to minor league deals which could potentially work out so we'll see. This Jake Smolinski could be interesting but that OF sure is crowded now. You can pencil in Pham, Kiermiaer and Meadows. Is Quinton McCracken destined to coach an MLB team? Josh Harrison? Yes please. Nothing I love more than swag on a field instead of a homogeneous bunch of suburbanites. They extended Kevin Cash to bring The Rays to the promise land. Here's a thought? Make the roof at Tropicana Field translucent...better yet, just demolish it. 

I felt good about what I jotted down and put the pencil down. Who would ever read this nonsense anyhow? Are there serious Rays fans like me? I was feeling more philosophical than usual...