Off Season 2018-19

After September ended it seemed so did my life. You know things are getting bad when the television screen is blaring the Red Sox storming the field in a World Series win while you are in a roach motel off Nebraska Avenue with one gram of heroin going intravenous into the right forearm. Whatever. Strawberry left me. The stadium in Ybor flopped. They traded Mallex. The Rays might be leaving town. Tommy Pham hates playing here. Jake Bauers got dealt and I'm swimming above the line of poverty. So what I couldn't support my children? It takes two to tangle right? I walked down Nebraska to the 7-11 at the intersection of Hillsborough and Nebraska to get a four pack of Budweiser.

I browsed the sections of chips and candy to see what I could mix with the beer.

“Hey man, gimme dat,” this dude with a thick Jersey accent demands.

Kid behind the counter could not be older than eighteen. He looked mortified.

“Do you not speak English you stupid fuck?!” he roars.

A couple of bystanders in line say nothing.

“Why don't you give the kid a break?” I cry.

He looks over. The guy is light skinned, a scar under his left orbital and has placid black squirrel eyes.

“What's it to ya, ya fuck?!” he roars.

I mentally notice his stained white tank top.

“No need to be rude,”

“FUCK YOU!” he snaps.

He comes at me and I jab him right where the scar is.

A period of blackout ensues and I wake up to TPD around me. From what I gather, some other bystander got me and apparently hit me in the medulla oblongata perhaps causing a period of total paralysis. They let me go and the whop was arrested on some account of aggravated battery.

I wandered back down to The Florida Motel (where I'd been crashing) to drift back into my thoughts. You see, I spent this off season trying to recover from my losses,..the children, Mallex, The Ybor Stadium and Strawberry. There was an ambitious period of attempting to write about The Buccanneers which ended prematurely considering that seemed like a hopeless voyage and well, let's be real, there's only one thing that stirs my cranium sponge...I set up my little home made IV kit on the stand, microwaved some old coffee that was sitting in the pot and set down all of the off season moves The Rays have made thus far. I began to ready the gram of heroin to flow into my left forearm and jotted down what came to mind first.

They went out and traded Mallex for Zunino (a catcher), Heredia (another OF dude) and a minor leaguer LHP Plassmeyer. Rumor is on the street they are still in JT Realmuto. Why trade the farm for this guy anyhow when you got Perez, Ciuffo and not Zunino? It looks like the FO believes in Zunino coming back to life with his bat because his glove sure is good. They signed Charlie Morton which makes a lot of sense unless homeboy gets hurt and they get nothing out of him. Snell, Morton, Glasnow seems pretty sweet out of the gate. Cannot wait to see Honeywell and DeLeon come back from their injuries. Poche is probably going to be up at some point if he can sustain last year's success. Is someone really in love with Olivier Drake or do they just love playing with this poor guys' emotions? Meh. They got rid of little man Jaime Shultz and forced the hand of former brain Friedman straight outta' Compton (LA that is) for yet another RHP in Caleb Sampen. They then went out and signed Avisail Garcia to a one year deal which now seems pretty risky BUT chico was a 4.0+ WAR player in 17' so it could be a sneaky good signing. So glad The Rays play in division with the two richest teams in the league. Apparently this is the off season where the FO goes out and grabs trash out of the White Sox parking lot à la Matt Davidson. In a flurry of December the FO makes a shit ton of moves involving Jake Bauers which in hind sight seems very odd and weird. Gonna miss bubba's swing. They dealt him a complicated trade and received 3B Yandy Diaz and RHP Cole Sulser. Someone is horny for young controllable pitching but then prior they made more crazy trades involving young pitching and got back RHP Emilio Pagan and RHP Rollie Lacy. I read this morning Josh Harrison is on their radar which would leave one to believe someone is getting left at The Hooters in Port Charlotte. If that person is Christian Arroyo, that's cool. Duffman might be out the door too with his old broken down truck. They signed a handful of other clowns to minor league deals which could potentially work out so we'll see. This Jake Smolinski could be interesting but that OF sure is crowded now. You can pencil in Pham, Kiermiaer and Meadows. Is Quinton McCracken destined to coach an MLB team? Josh Harrison? Yes please. Nothing I love more than swag on a field instead of a homogeneous bunch of suburbanites. They extended Kevin Cash to bring The Rays to the promise land. Here's a thought? Make the roof at Tropicana Field translucent...better yet, just demolish it. 

I felt good about what I jotted down and put the pencil down. Who would ever read this nonsense anyhow? Are there serious Rays fans like me? I was feeling more philosophical than usual...