I fell asleep drunk in my car in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Sarasota. The dude who was supposed to pick me up didn't and well, I killed a bottle of Jack to fall asleep in the bushes. Luckily, the spring brings little humidity and bugs.
"You look like shit," Strawberry announced on her arrival.
I did just sleep in the bushes.
"Well good morning to you too,"
She looked on with a grimace.
"Yes dear?"
She grabbed her purse.
"Guess what I got last night!" she laughed out loud.
"Some coke?"
Wrong.
"No silly! Some tickets to The Red Sox and Rays game today!" she cried.
I liked Port Charlotte.
"The thing is it's in Fort Myers," she explained.
I glanced at my watch.
"We need to leave now then,"
Diplomacy at its finest hour. We got en route to Ft. Myers heading south on I-75 and got immediately stuck in traffic. As Strawberry lost her temper behind the wheel, I noticed eighty percent of the drivers were from the north, old and white.
"GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU OLD FUCKS!" she roared.
I loved my girl.
We showed up to JetBlue Park loaded to the gills of Red Sox fans. Frankly, those people are confused and slightly mentally challenged who simply don't know any better about sports, but what do I know?
Jake Faria was on the bump today (one of the dudes in the starting rotation of four) and got bombed to the stone age. He could not get out of the first inning, gave up runs and simply could not find the zone. Every pitch looked flat and everyone seemed to be making solid contact off of him. Nice to see D-Rob out there too. It was soothing to see Matt Duffy, wait, a healthy Matt Duffy out there at third base. Duffman went 1-2 and slapped in a run. Coats, McCarthy and Snyder were all new names I'd never seen until today. They looked OK. Shimpf once again looked like shit and could not make contact to save his life. Typical power hitter. Glad to see we need to endure another year of a heavy strike out team. Bauers also seems to be figuring out his swing but looked great at first base. Jesus Sucre made some nice contact today and good to see him playing behind home plate. The highlight of the day was seeing Mallex Smith. McGowan gave up a bomb and threw hard. Glad to see that's another dude in the pen. Jose Mujica and Jose Alvarado also looked very impressing in their outings. Jake Cronenworth was up in the house and saw him get a couple of ABs. Stone Crabs represent! Matt Andriese aint trying to be in the pen. Gave up a single then shut down the next three batters. Sup? My man Micah Johnson is trying to get that spot on the team. He went 2-2 with two doubles (one of which he could of made for a triple) but looked really disciplined at the plate. Kean Wong and Dalton Kelly looked sharp out there too. Boldt, Velasquez and Milone looked solid too. There's no denying it, this team will undergo a lot of growing pains but the future looks bright with this organization.
Strawberry and I were trashed beyond ordinary human reasoning and found each other contemplating what to eat after the game. They sang their little Boston songs and waved aimlessly in the air. I saw so many Red Sox hats it was sickening. Sterile to the nth degree. If hell was on earth, it takes form of Fenway Park and this was the closest her and I have been to it.
"How abowt dem Ways buddy?" this guy from the north east slurs.
His truck on a sticker on it that said Masshole and the typical Patriots stickers with one of the Super Bowl wins.
"I want to leave,"
So we went...
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