Micah Johnson, Mallex Smith and Surrounded by Red Sox Fans...

I fell asleep drunk in my car in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Sarasota. The dude who was supposed to pick me up didn't and well, I killed a bottle of Jack to fall asleep in the bushes. Luckily, the spring brings little humidity and bugs.
"You look like shit," Strawberry announced on her arrival.
I did just sleep in the bushes.
"Well good morning to you too,"
She looked on with a grimace.
"Yes dear?"
She grabbed her purse.
"Guess what I got last night!" she laughed out loud.
"Some coke?"
Wrong.
"No silly! Some tickets to The Red Sox and Rays game today!" she cried.
I liked Port Charlotte.
"The thing is it's in Fort Myers," she explained.
I glanced at my watch.
"We need to leave now then,"
Diplomacy at its finest hour. We got en route to Ft. Myers heading south on I-75 and got immediately stuck in traffic. As Strawberry lost her temper behind the wheel, I noticed eighty percent of the drivers were from the north, old and white.
"GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU OLD FUCKS!" she roared.
I loved my girl.

We showed up to JetBlue Park loaded to the gills of Red Sox fans. Frankly, those people are confused and slightly mentally challenged who simply don't know any better about sports, but what do I know?
Jake Faria was on the bump today (one of the dudes in the starting rotation of four) and got bombed to the stone age. He could not get out of the first inning, gave up runs and simply could not find the zone. Every pitch looked flat and everyone seemed to be making solid contact off of him. Nice to see D-Rob out there too. It was soothing to see Matt Duffy, wait, a healthy Matt Duffy out there at third base. Duffman went 1-2 and slapped in a run. Coats, McCarthy and Snyder were all new names I'd never seen until today. They looked OK. Shimpf once again looked like shit and could not make contact to save his life. Typical power hitter. Glad to see we need to endure another year of a heavy strike out team. Bauers also seems to be figuring out his swing but looked great at first base. Jesus Sucre made some nice contact today and good to see him playing behind home plate. The highlight of the day was seeing Mallex Smith. McGowan gave up a bomb and threw hard. Glad to see that's another dude in the pen. Jose Mujica and Jose Alvarado also looked very impressing in their outings. Jake Cronenworth was up in the house and saw him get a couple of ABs. Stone Crabs represent! Matt Andriese aint trying to be in the pen. Gave up a single then shut down the next three batters. Sup? My man Micah Johnson is trying to get that spot on the team. He went 2-2 with two doubles (one of which he could of made for a triple) but looked really disciplined at the plate. Kean Wong and Dalton Kelly looked sharp out there too. Boldt, Velasquez and Milone looked solid too. There's no denying it, this team will undergo a lot of growing pains but the future looks bright with this organization.

Strawberry and I were trashed beyond ordinary human reasoning and found each other contemplating what to eat after the game. They sang their little Boston songs and waved aimlessly in the air. I saw so many Red Sox hats it was sickening. Sterile to the nth degree. If hell was on earth, it takes form of Fenway Park and this was the closest her and I have been to it.
"How abowt dem Ways buddy?" this guy from the north east slurs.
His truck on a sticker on it that said Masshole and the typical Patriots stickers with one of the Super Bowl wins.
"I want to leave,"
So we went...

The First Day of Spring and Split Squad Action in Sarasota...

"Get the fuck out you piece of worthless shit!" she roared.
This is what I woke up to.
"Let me get a cup of coffee first,"
She wasn't having it.
There's something to be said about mood swings and the menstrual cycle. I didn't have ovaries or a uterus but if there's one thing I've learned about my Strawberry, when she's pissed, it's better to turn one hundred and eighty degrees and head the opposite direction.
I found myself on the empty morning street of 7th Avenue on a Friday. The smell of roasting coffee swept through, the roosters roamed around the benches and the damned were starting their day by being, well, more damned. I took a drag off my cig and realized baseball was back.
I jumped into my little tin can of a car and headed south to Sarasota...

It was the first time in going to Ed Smith Stadium and was impressed by the get go of things. Some fuck head charged me twenty bucks to park underneath a semi truck. God punishes the wicked. The area is pretty desolate and the smell of meth loomed in the area. What else is new in rural Florida? I was harassed for wearing my Rays jersey from some Orioles fans who were well into their twilight years, which is to say, geriatric, which is also to say, they'll go into cardiac arrest and let the new generation continue on living relatively sooner than later. Florida is God's waiting room after all...

I was excited to Micah Johnson, Willy Adames, Jake Bauers, Nick Solak, Ryan Shimpf, Jesus Sanchez, Johnny Field, Justin Williams and seeing Chirinos take the bump. Chirinos threw some gas. Bauers and that swing. I wasn't too impressed with what I saw of Joey Wendell. Nick Ciuffo is for real. That bat has some pop to it. The Rays better never let that one slip away anytime soon. I am pulling for Micah Jonson. If we could get a dude like that who works at bats like that lead off, that would be great and he looked good on the base paths as well. It was also nice to see former Stone Crab Brandon Lowe get some in there at the plate. The lineup was pretty left handed heavy. Dalton Kelly was also in the house and got a couple of AB's too. Bauers struck out a couple of times but that swing looks absolutely beautiful. Also was nice to see Willy Adames get a hit and snag an RBI. All in all, this was a look into the depth of the system and was deeply impressed. Rocco and Montoyo were patrolling the dug out and saw new pitching coach (OG Devil Ray) Kyle Snyder up in the mix. There's no denying it, there is a new look to the Rays (again).

"Thanks for Tim Beckham," some guy in a bright orange jersey yells at me.
Huh?
"Keep him,"
He looked on in a perturbed way.
"So Rays fans do exist?" he laughed.
I asked myself the question often too.
"I think so,"
He laughed again.
"You're funny man," the guy chuckled.
His belly rumbled too.
"I try not to be,"
Apparently this translates to ordering someone a beer (when you're funny).
"You like Bud Lite bro?" he asked.
Fuck no.
"Yes,"
He shows up with two blue bottles.
The sun set in the west and the Rays went on to win 6-3. It was nice to see baseball was back.

Souza Comes to Camp, Cargo is Signed and I buy Another AR 15...

"Alright buddy, just sign here," the fat balding guy wearing an old Yankees hat explains.
Down far 7th Avenue where life translates into a more grim reality, which is to say real, there is a little pawn shop we go visit ever so often. There is something to be said about purchasing stolen goods and putting them on your mantle as a token of how decent of a human being you feel like. Benefiting off other people's miseries/misfortunes.
"Cool, do you need anything else?"
He looked ever his shoulder.
"Nope, you are good to go sir," he says while handing over the AR 15.
In light of the school shooting in South Florida (where the Marlins have already beat the Rays in the fire sale) I figured to load the apartment with more guns so whenever I pick up Strawberry late, I can be sure to have the AR in the car and when our kids go to public school, they can match their teacher's arms. Eye for eye. Gotta make sure too, that the color of the AR matches Strawberry's dresses.
I drove to the McDonalds off US Forty One to read the news only to find more madness and confusion...

Souza arrived to Port Charlotte the other day only told to beat it. Huh? The Rays sent Souza to Arizona for LHP Anthony Banda and also acquired RHP Taylor Widener, The Yankees sent the Rays Nick Solak meanwhile the Yankees DFA'd Jabari Blash. The rebuild has truly begun. Souza was only owed 3.5 million and really begun to find his stride. A real five tool player. He started growing on me during the 16' season and was a nice leader throughout the 17' campaign. We could have had Trea Turner, we got rid of Wil Myers and now got rid of Souza only after acquiring him in 15'. Thus 2015-2017. People are arguing they are building for the future. Weren't they doing that then when they traded off nearly the entire 14' roster? Only four years later...Souza was the team MVP as well last year. "I just don't know man," Archer was quoted saying.
Judging by facial expression, the dude wants out and for good reason. You think there was an attendance problem last year? Welcome to the terror dome. The roster is a nearly full triple A roster at this point.
"It hurts man but it is our job to do our best on the field," KK was telling the media.
Dick Vitale was on the record saying "they should just sell the team and let Archer and KK go somewhere else. It is unfair to them."
Homeboy aint too far off. Sucks to think raccoon boy Kevin Cash will be sitting there looking dumbfound in the dug out, spitting seeds and never wearing a jersey to a whopping crowd of one thousand people (who will be more than half opposing fans).
The front office knew there a was problem and needed to counter the fans by showing they cared, so they go out and sign Carlos Gonzalez for four million dollars. Peep his road/home splits. Ouch. Thus they let Souza go (who was more economical actually) for some good prospects and signed a hot head for one year service time (who could very well get hurt for a good chunk of the year). Let's review...
Subtract from 2017 Opening Day Roster - to last game: Dickerson (All-Star who walked for nothing), Beckham, Souza, Lomo (all of whom in which had career years) Boxberger, Cobb, Odo, Longo (face of the franchise), Xavier Cedeno, Rasmus, Erasmo, Cishek, Hunter, Weeks Jr., Jumbo, Peterson, Bourjos, D-Norris (let him rot in hell). Oh but Brad Miller is still a Ray. Don't drop the mic...

Conclusion is nearly half of the 25 man roster is gone. That is truly remarkable when analyzing it. That was a solid core they could have built around. Young dudes who were controllable for another couple of years but they were all traded off. To say simply this is the first time Rays fans have undergone this is pure bullshit. I loved that 14' roster and they tore it down. Joyce, Zobrist, Price, Molina, S-Rod, et cetera...they are doing it again in the span of four years. Embarrassing.
At this point it is nearly impossible to project the Opening Day Lineup. You figure with all of the infielders they have collecting this off season they are looking to see who is going to battle it out. They DFA'd Micah Johnson, which slightly bummed me out but oh yeah, Brad Miller is still on the depth charts. So, I will take a new approach on this...who will definitely be on the Opening Day Roster?
Core: Archer/KK
Roster Purgatory: Sucre, Ramos, Span and Cargo (these two will play because of the money they are making), Cron
It is a curious factor to consider Denard Span will be patrolling the outfield knowing that Dickerson was ousted for nothing and Souza was traded for a LHP prospect and 2B prospect. It seems a lot of people are more on board with the analytics of how a team should win. Sure, that is the point of the game, to win. Rather you have a team full of people who come and go as opposed to some familiarity? Amazing to think how big Souza was becoming with the fans (and was actually fun to watch) now back to a bunch of players on the field who we don't know and will need another two plus years to get used to seeing? Even if this team does go on and win the AL East (with our fearless leader Kevin Cash leading the pack) all of these dudes are young and a complete mystery. I'm not saying there is nothing to be excited about but when you go from one season to the next and completely overhaul the roster every three-to-two years, what message does that send to fans (who already don't drive out to that abomination of a stadium)? I won't front on my emotions towards it, I am not nearly excited as I was last year. That was a damn good core of players (sprinkled with veteran leadership). They actually added last off season and made some really good trades. They traded for Mallex, signed Rasmus, nabbed Bourjos during Spring and so on. Now it's just one big guessing game.

"Oh fuck it baby, let's get McFlurries,"
Strawberry loved the Oreos.
We went home and fornicated to keep the human species alive.

Peace out Odo and Dickerson is Ousted...

I found myself snuggled up with a Coors Lite on the bay and watching the water twinkle while analyzing what The Rays have done the last couple of days.
"You want an appetizer baby?" Strawberry asked.
"Sure honey,"

As predicted by the Gods, Odo is out the door. Traded to the Twins for a short stop that hasn't scratched AAA ball and is still pretty far away but could be intriguing. I guess losing Odo isn't such a big hit as he hasn't been a very consistent pitcher for an entire season and tends to get stung by the long ball. One could even argue he is injury prone. No matter the case, he is gone up north to a pretty stout Twins line up. The most puzzling move was the DFA of Corey Dickerson. Perhaps there were trade talks involving him but that was really a dagger to the heart. Almost as bad as the Giancarlo trade but at least The Marlins received something in return. Seriously, WHAT IN THE FUCK. I am still analyzing this...in the Longo trade, Denard Span was thrown in there. Obviously, he is expensive (in Rays terms) but Corey Dickerson is coming off an All-Star year and is not even owed six million. How could he NOT be in their future plans? Ok, he isn't an extraordinary defender but the dude has a lot of power. Came into last season fit and ready to tear (and tearing he did). He fell off the second half but to simply just get rid of him for nothing? Really? Hopefully a trade comes about but to let him walk would be absolutely absurd. Hopefully homeboy has options. Is this Kevin Cash's doing or all front office "budget cuts"? WHAT A SHIT SHOW. Why not trade him to the Braves for something? They are in need...
Lo and behold, Brad Miller is steadfast but with the arrival of CJ Cron (insurance for Bauers) it really does make you question the front office's confidence in Brad Miller. This will be an interesting development throughout spring...looks like the outfield will be KK, Souza, Span and Mallex. Actually, I like this. Denard Span is growing on me. The acquisition of Cron shows that they are not rushing Bauers either (also a smart move). Amazing to think they could do something so intelligent like this then do something so moronic with Dickerson. Is Sternberg really that cheap? YEESH...
Thus...subtract Cobb, Odo, Longo, Lomo, Dickerson, Hunter, Beckham. Nearly half of the Opening Day line up is gone...Longo said he felt bad for Rays fans. Didn't he always?
Archer and Honeywell seem to be pushing the bar higher, despite the fact the Rays being poor economical bastards, they could truly have an unstoppable rotation come Opening Day...
Archer/Honeywell/Snell/Faria/Andriese/DeLeon/Eovaldi/Pruitt/Yarbrough/Chirinos...excellent.

"Coconut shrimp?" the server asked.
"Yes please,"

Rays on the move, Channel 10 and A gander at the infield...

  “I have tickets!” Strawberry declared.

“To...?”

“To the press conference today!” she yelled.

I got word from Sandra, the bartender over at Boneyard, about this stadium ordeal being made legit on a Friday.

“How'd you get...wait...er...don't even bother telling me,”

Strawberry smirked in a grimacing way as she looked away. What she did at night for her money was her business.

They had the press conference set up over at this little bungalow house just off 8^th Avenue where I'd been jumped a handful of times and where Strawberry had given me dome a couple of times behind the bushes.

Oh the memories.

Prior to showing up, I popped into Gaspar's Grotto for the infamous two dollar shot and beer combo. Nothing like getting the nerves calmed.

At the bungalow I spotted a couple of faces from the newspaper. Hagan, Buckhorn, Sykes, some other balding white dude and ole' Stu Sternberg. The security gave me a demeaning look as I entered those creaking old doors. In spite of the entire ordeal, I rocked my old inaugural 1998 Devil Rays t-shirt.

Some reporter from Channel 10 seemed to be on speed or something -judging by those pupils- ready to fire a thousand questions at these white men. “Reporting the facts”.

The spotlight took its place on the group and they begun...

“Today marks the beginning...” one of them started.

I was put to tears knowing that the Rays were finally getting the hell out of Pinellas County and possibly over to this side of the bay, which is to say, the right side of the bay.

After their speeches ended, the journalist from Channel 10 kept yelling and screaming and the woman with ten inches of makeup kept demanding they take another question yet the reporter kept on and on. Kudos for him for really caring but in actuality, I didn't give a fuck either way. No matter how I cut it, I'd remain poor and the city would gobble up all of my taxes whether for trash, sewage or RayJay. corruption or not...just look at the president. This country is already fucked beyond fucked.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen.

The reporter was restrained and nearly escorted out of the bungalow. That's a good white boy.

I felt philosophical and quixotic while strolling down 8^th by all of the homeless people and September 11^th memorial. My mind ran to the inner diamond...

This spring we shall find quite the competition in the infield. Let's look at some of the acquisitions of Joey Wendel, Micah Johnson, Ryan Shimpf. I like the idea of anyone being in the infield over Brad Miller as Miller seems a bit overrated by many but no matter. Left handed bats are always a nice entity in the lineup. Seems like in 2017 the lineup was very right handed heavy. Shimpf has a lot of power potential yet seems plagued by strikeouts (like many power hitters). Souza could fall in there. Christian Arroyo shall also be in the mix as we traded Longo for this dude. I don't really know how to feel about Wendel, I guess spring will expose what kind of player the Rays received. Now! The really exciting part! Willy Adames and Jake Bauers and Matt Duffy. A full season of Matt Duffy is so critical for this team to be successful. I remember seeing him play limited in 16' and like his slap hitting approach and feel he really could be a corner stone dude at 3B. Makes you wonder where Arroyo will be used as Willy will most likely be the shortstop of the future. Cannot forget ole' Hech too! Despite his bat being somewhat below average, his defensive abilities are something really special. When the Rays went out and got him at the trade deadline, it was such a pleasant thing to see. His range and athleticism makes him a nice short stop, which translates in Rays terminology, as a trade chip by the trade deadline with Willy in the wings but this will be an evolving story as spring continues. I really like Hech but with the Rays paying him five million plus, they are more likely to move him at some point this season. Despite D-Rob's athleticism and great defense, that bat just makes me question him mightily. I will just go ahead and pencil in Bauers. Going by sheer lunacy, I will predict The Rays infield come Opening Day:

Cather=Ramos

1B= Bauers

2B= Arroyo

SS= Willy Adames

3B= Matt Duffy

Bench: Shimpf, Miller, Micah

I have given up on Brad Miller, I really wish they would trade him but seems less likely as his value is extremely low (much like Odo's) . He has power potential yes, no debate there, but is not a great defender and has a lot of swing and miss.

I felt greater than great. I felt like really, really great.

Jake Odorizzi is Probably Out The Door and Trump...

I found myself slithering around the streets of downtown St. Pete. Not too far off in the background the depressing glow of the dome. These two girls who clearly had been drinking got into my car and were slurring their words.
"That guy was all like..."
At night after 9:00 WUSF puts on all night jazz. It tends to tame my mind in an insane civilization. Jazz (much like baseball) is a language only a few can truly understand.
"Why do you have this elevator music on?!" one of the girls snaps.
"I like elevators,"
Silence.
We cruised over Gandy bridge in absolute silence.
"What have y'all been doing tonight?"
More silence.
"What do you think?" one of them retorts.
They smelled.
"It explains why y'all smell like shit,"
Silence.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" one of them shouts.
The words just came out so organically.
"I mean, you both smell like alcohol. I guess it beats saying 'you smell like shit,'"
This didn't seem to work.
We arrived to a nice old house in south Tampa and the other girl stayed in (as we had another stop for her...apparently).
"So you really like this elevator music?" she asked.
I think so.
"Yes,"
"I do not meet a lot of people who like this kind of music," she explained.
"You mean Kind of Blue. This is Miles Davis,"
She chuckled.
"You are a smart ass," she laughed.
This was not true.
"I come from Puerto Rico, you know, a shit hole country," she cried.
I felt a subliminal reference. Jose DeLeon was from there.
"Did you vote for that asshole??"
She did.
"That ASSHOLE is saving this country! Look at North Korea now!" she began.
She launched into a whole long dialogue about the president of The United States. I was too tired to care.
We slowly came to her house.
"Don't hate me because I voted for Trump," she said.
"Too late,"
She got out.

There's no doubt that this off season has been long. The Rays have made no major league signings. Lomo and Alex Cobb are still out there in purgatory. Maybe it's safe to say The Rays will be a Triple A team with our Lord and Savior Kevin Cash to lead the charge into oblivion. It looks like the front office really decided to tackle this off season by trading old assets and trying to acquire young controllable talent via the trade. It's funny they are screaming bloody murder about Hech's arbitration hearing and have to pay a very solid defensive shortstop an extra two million dollars. There's no question that by the All-Star Break the lineup will look extremely difficult from Opening Day. I suspect that Hech, Odo, Ramos and even maybe Archer get get dealt by then. Odo is coming off a down season but I could see The Brewers trade some second tier prospects for Odo or buy high for Archer as they are in desperate need of a starter and have the prospects to trade for one. Knowing how the Rays work, time will only tell. One thing to be very excited about is the pitching and if that rotation can be healthy. Archer, DeLeon, Andriese, Eovaldi, Snell, Faria, Honeywell to name a few. It will be interesting to see how these guys come to spring. The OF looks solid too if Mallex, KK, Dickerson and Souza can all remain healthy. Is it ironic the Cubs pick up all former Rays?

I drove to 7-11 and got a coffee.