Season Ender and Prison...

I was charged with three accounts of domestic violence and verbal abuse. This is all started when I was at this Irish bar off Dale Mabry and Euclid. It was your typical scene in Tampa where the opposing fans outnumbered the home fans. This is a real rare incident for me but all in all, this is typical here in a transient place like Florida where the northerners come down to colonize and deem Florida home after "ten years I call it home". Whatever the fuck that means. These two clowns in Yankees gear kept antagonizing me and repeatedly mentioned "how many championships do you have?" Sorry bubba, we weren't around since the dinosaurs. Eventually it escalated and I stabbed one of them with my fork in his neck but nothing fatal. The city of lights was turned down a notch. I was only given a three month sentence and Strawberry bailed me out in a bond for a meager 300,000$. Back to the motel for me. The Cubs series was even worse, if not arguably, THE worst scene in humanity. One buffoon after another showed in Cubs gear but could probably not name you their 2014 Opening Day Starter nor could probably tell you how Chris Archer came over from them for Matt Garza or how David DeJesus wound up here? I saw one moron after another with a Cubs shirt on with a Rays jersey over it or the other way around. Riddle me this, riddle me that...have you ever even been to Chicago or the FUCKING STATE OF ILLINOIS? There is no such thing as a lovable loser. The Devil Rays were awful and there was nothing to love about that except Lou Pinella's rage, Wade Boggs crushing 3,000 and just watching Crime Dog do his thing. Maddon was great but our owner let him walk and lo and behold he takes another trash team and goes all the way.

This town...

Needless to say, I was going over the trades from the trade deadline and the front office. They dealt Tim Beckham for a pitching prospect. At first I was jubilant about this until he kept crushing with an AL East opponent. Surely Kevin Cash had a foot in getting rid of him. Word is on the street from this fat dude who writes for the Rays there was some bad blood in the mix. That trade will probably come to haunt us. Alex Cobb is now a free agent and will probably end up a Cub. They shipped of Erasmo Ramirez too, which also seemed like a questionable move but in return our pen really looked prime for October until the offense completely vanished. Colby Rasmus retired from baseball because he probably missed hunting and whisky too much, Lomo, Longo, Mallex, Dickerson and Souza kinda dried up and Wilson Ramos just seemed to never figure out his timing. The addition of Cishek and Romo was cool. Blake Snell looked good in his last outing. The biggest blow is probably losing Jim Hickey. Kyle Snyder should slide in nicely but Hick really has a way of developing pitchers (hence why The Rays have been relevant for sometime). Not sure where Rocco is going. There are rumors swirling of Longo being dealt. Can you say Atlanta Braves bound? They have the prospects and money. Honeywell and Archer could be a nice duo. By far the best thing going this offseason is the newly proposed stadium site. I literally cried out of joy when seeing the site Hagan proposed in Ybor and to know that the possibility my team would get out of the worst fucking town in this region would solidify the fact I would never have to set foot in Pinellas County again, where the rich stay rich and baseball does not work in an oversized Sam's Club also known as Tropicana Field. Amen.

"Strawberry, let's go up to McDonald's,"
"Ice cream?" she cried.
I loved this woman.