Two Nights Before X-Mas At The Dollhouse and The Importance of Brad Miller...

Strawberry began working at Dollhouse off Cyprus just shy of International Plaza and Westshore. Her friends were beautiful and the snow I could find lingering in there off the noses of the clientele and colleagues was brilliant.
I had a tradition for Strawberry for whenever she started working somewhere new to spend an evening there just to get a feel to the joint and how her clients treated her and that the bouncers were watching the girls. After all, a bunch of men with hard-ons waving money around in front of beautifully stark naked women is never a sedate environment.
Strawberry could sway those hips pretty good for a white chick.
"Hey buddy, you seem infatuated with that one," an overweight guy wearing a black polo exclaims.
"You could say that,"
I saw a Nissan logo on the shirt.
"This is my spot. They serve the best food and the women here are top notch," he stammered underneath the loud music.
I also spotted a wedding ring.
He also spotted that I spotted his wedding ring.
"She doesn't know," he cried.
Here comes the Christian guilt.
"Who?"
Playing dumb always gets you more answers.
"My wife," he said.
Yawn.
"Your secret's safe with me,"
He smirked and roamed off.
Strawberry tamed my hormones enough to where I didn't need to come in these places and spend money on women dancing erotically. What she did to earn her money was her affair, just knowing she came home to me every night was enough to know that it was a slippery definition of love in the modern terms anyhow...
"Are you enjoying yourself there sexy?" this girl says to me from the left side.
I lit up a smoke.
"I don't know,"
She lit up a smoke too.
"Got a light?"
I extended my hand out and lit her end.
"What's a nice face like you doing here?" she smoothly asked.
Her tits were fake.
"Well..."
Lost in communication my mind wandered off in mid-sentence underneath the dome on the diamond where everything mattered most...

For reasons unknown after losing Longoria in a blockbuster trade, Brad Miller has been lingering inside of my mind. I say it because he is one of the most seasoned veterans on the team and could be rolling forward along with Corey Dickerson, Steven Souza Jr. and (now) Denard Span. I wouldn't go as far to throw KK in the mix but in Rays terminology he is a veteran (I suppose) too. Needless to say, The Rays scooped up big Brad in six player trade in November of 2015 that also saw Nate Karns get shipped off and brought over Lomo and Danny Farq too. Despite all of the trials and tribulations of Brad, he's shown flashes of being a real high caliber type of player. His defense is sub-par from 2B, it utterly atrocious from the left side of the diamond BUT could be a sleeper at 1B. There's no doubt, homeboy has the power. Let's forget his injury plagued 17' campaign but look closer at the 16' year. Brad totaled 548 ABs and had this nice little line to show for it : Slugging .482 / .786 OPS / ended the year with a .243 BA. All in all, he played in 152 games that year, which demonstrated he has the potential of being a grinder. 16' was his career year...THUS FAR. The Rays might come out on top with this trade in the end if they can get him healthy and time that swing a little better. Also, it'd be really nice to see him shore up his defense a little more hence why I think he could be a sleeper in the 1B position. Makes you wonder with Bauers on the horizon, Schimpf, Wendel, D-Rob and Duffy in the mix now Longo is gone, how Brad Miller will be factored in? No matter how you get around it though, he is key to possible success of this core moving forward. With all of these acquisions, there seems no reason to bring back Lomo (though I think they should).

"Hey buddy you got a light?" this guy with a thick beard asks.
"Sure...er...let me find it,"
I fumbled around, lit the end of his cancer stick and watched the smoke evaporate into the ceiling.

The Truest (Devil) Ray Goes Back West, Character(less) and at The Nursing Home...

"We're going to see my mom today," Strawberry explains.
"Er...okay. How's she doing?"
"Well, not so good..." she began.
After you've been fed up with dealing with your parents in the twilight years of their lives, you force them into a home where neglect is as rampant as the roaches infesting their walls. After all, this is Florida. Where America comes to die.
"Well, she'll be happy to see us,"
I slipped off into the bathroom, tied the belt extremely hard around the arm to get a good look at the lucky vein. I'd developed a bad habit of doing this every time we went to the nursing home as I could not cope being surrounded by these people who were waiting out their days to die. In essence, it was the end of the line. The heroin went flowing in my veins and the body subdued into a total toxic nirvana.

Strawberry stuck the poor old bastard in a Greystone out in St. Pete (another reason I felt like shooting up). The facility was nothing abnormal and the neighborhood no exception. Liquor stores and churches on every corner sprinkled in with a McDonalds, Taco Bell, Burger King or car dealerships. The CNA's looked worn out or were laughing hysterically doing very little.
"Hey mom!" Strawberry greeted.
"Hey darlin'," she croaked.
The old bitch didn't even know who I was. Her eyes looked on in despair.
"Hey Ms..."
Her face remained placid and Strawberry grabbed her wheelchair from behind and rolled her into the cafeteria. We passed through a lobby when the key phrase Longoria was said from the television. I stopped. ESPN had been on.
Reports are confirming Evan Longoria is being traded to the San Francisco Giants for...
I didn't even care who it was for.
"Strawberry, I need a moment,"
"Okay babe," she said in confusion.
Heroin makes you feel like a zombie but the emotions were still very much alive inside my mind. I wandered outside and found a watering hole in a strip mall. The scene was typical, dudes with bad leathery skin, women with sun drenched hair and cigarette smoke. Lifeless.
"I'll take a beer and a shot buddy,"
"You got it," the lady cried in a scratched out broadcast.
I stared at the television. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. ESPN was giving the details on the blockbuster trade.
The Rays send off long time Ray Evan Longoria to The San Francisco Giants for Christian Arroyo, Denard Span and two minor leaguers in Matt Krook and Stephen Woods. What do you think...
Maybe it was the heroin but I couldn't seem to move my feet.
"You alright buddy?" this guy in a grey shirt asks.
"No,"
"What's the matter?" he asked kindly.
"Everything,"
"Oh," he says.
He took notice that I was frozen to the screen.
"Pretty crazy huh? Who would've thought?" he laughed.
"Tab me out please,"

I wandered back to the Greystone and found Strawberry in the room with her decaying mother. The wall was cluttered with photos of the past and I saw where Strawberry got her looks. Good thing her mom knew nothing of her profession.
"So the weather sure has been hot mom!" she laughed.
She was such a sweetheart.
"Oh yes," she responded.
I sat still, turned on ESPN and didn't move.
"You ok?" Strawberry asked.
"No,"
A male nurse walks in and glances to the TV while holding the meds.
"Finally!" he says.
Taken aback.
"What?"
The girls kept talking.
"He was bound to get traded sooner than later," he grumbled.
We locked eyes.
"His numbers have been plummeting and we got a better player in Arroyo," he cried.
"We just lost OUR DUDE,"
Strawberry could hear it in my voice the violence was simmering.
"I like the Rays too but Evan has not been producing on the field and I feel we probably owe ten wins to him that he did not give us. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed watching Longo play hard all of these years but his numbers are dwindling, he won't win here and moving forward they are better team without him now," he explained.
Emotions blinded me.
"So he is at fault for the losses last year? Not Kevin Cash?"
"Look, if Evan Longoria was a leader he would've brought the team to the playoffs once in these last four years but hasn't. Change isn't always a bad thing," he explained.
We slightly came to a treaty.
"Try to think analytically and not be so emotionally invested," he hissed and walked out the door.
Male nurses...
"Chill out baby," Strawberry said.
I slipped into the bathroom, unbuckled my pants and began taking a dump. I wish I had more heroin. Funny how the toilet can be a place of meditation and peace.

The Rays lost the face of the franchise. As Evan Longoria leaves this market that is already suffering from attendance issues and an abomination of a stadium in what could be deemed one of the worst towns in Florida, it is of no wonder why Stu Sternberg dismantles this team. This is the equivalent of when they traded off David Price, Ben Zobrist and James Shields and letting Joe Maddon walk for simply nothing. Trading Longo signals two things in my mind:
Stu is setting up the franchise in a good spot to be sold with a youthful farm system and team on the field for a prospective city.
The other way I see it is they are salary dumping all of these players from the last decade of success in order to fund the stadium in Ybor and/or somewhere in Tampa Bay. Rebuilds are hard but I do not see this as an entire rebuild. Yes, there is talent on the field but with the upcoming months, there is no doubt that Archer and/or Colome could be out the door. These are the icons of the franchise alongside Kevin Kiermaier. As much as I like KK, he plays reckless and has yet to really produce in one full season offensively and defensively. All-Star season has yet to be seen. The direction of this franchise seems to be a bit of a mystery with the pitfalls of the stadium issue (one of the most depressing places to watch a game...PERIOD) and now selling off franchise guys. The only player people could probably name you on the roster in this town would be Evan Longoria or Kevin Kiermaier. Identity goes a long way. Despite all of the analytics of the game and statistics there is something to be said about a team with character. See Miami Marlins for definition of a team with good players and ZERO character. Yelich, Ozuna, Stanton and Dee Gordon are all great players yet the franchise is ran by imbeciles. Almost makes you wonder what in the hell is going on in that front office in St. Pete? At the end of the day, this is a business and people come and go but there are cornerstone players who stay through the thick and thin. Freeman and Tehran have stayed put in Atlanta through their rebuild. All in all, it is a sickening day to day for this already questionable franchise. Subtract Maddon, Zobrist, Price, Shields, Moore, Cobb, Longo and Forsythe who were all beloved. Is it safe to say Archer and Colome are probably out the door next? It seems the definition of Rays Baseball would be never like  player when he becomes a legit Major Leaguer because they'll be shipped off for prospects anyhow.
This is complete utter lunacy. How do you gain fans and establish them if this is your method of business? What is there to get behind? It pains me to say this but The Marlins and Rays are very similar in that they are ran in the most moronic and unfathomable sense. Put all the statistics you want and compare but the fact is when you go to a game every year and the entire team is new year in, year out, how in the fuck do you get behind that let alone that awful stadium they play in owned by a guy who does not even invest into Tampa Bay and who is more preoccupied with The New York Mets? Denard Span? Really? I sincerely wish Evan Longoria all the best and how this franchise has lost someone who really loves Tampa Bay despite the organization making questionable moves. It will be no marvel when that stadium really dries up like the five o'clock tide going outward.

The shit slithered out of my arsehole smooth, wiped and I flushed.

A piece of Schimpf and Human Relations...

"I need another strand man," my buddy tells me over the phone.

"Call your boy, oh what's his name?" 

I seem to get these calls everyday. Since off season had begun, my life really goes into a turmoil of boredom and occupying time with obscure activities. 

"Oh yeah, that dude, I will hit him up," he cried and hung up.

Typical. Hunger set in and we went down to La Tropicana in Ybor to get a Palomilla sandwich. They were fire and I liked the interior of the joint. Strawberry swore up and down it was a mafia's family place, which I never protested about nor ever asked. You learn some questions are best kept between the person you trust the most...yourself.

We sat down with our sandwiches and I saw Bay News Nine talk about something the Rays were doing. Amazing to think they even acknowledged their existence.

"This sandwich is so good," Strawberry moaned with delight.

The Rays had been busy at the winter meetings in Orlando. They already snagged an IF utility guy in Joey Wendle from The Oakland A's. I'd never heard of the guy until the trade. They'll give them a player to be named or a bucket of ice. Perhaps he could surge in a Rays uniform? They say this is a "small move" but I entirely disagree. This signals something a lot greater than that, it clearly marks the end of the Brad Miller era. No disrespect towards Brad but the dude cannot play the IF worth a damn, has no range and is being overpaid (4.4 million or something along those lines). Ironically, if you look at Wendle, he is almost a Brad Miller prototype. Hits from the left side of the plate and has little range at 2B. Remember when they demoted Brad Miller from SS to 2B in 16' then went on to crush a bunch of homers? Hopefully that won't be necessary for ole' Wendle to be a doubles machine at Tropicana Field. I'd take a Dickerson and Wendle combo for doubles then sprinkle in the speed of KK and Mallex. Can you imagine if the front office targets more speed on the bases? I like that move actually because I've lost all faith in Brad Miller. Trade bait? 

"Do you want me to get a coffee baby?" I asked Strawberry.

"Do I?!" she laughed.

Rumors were all over the place of an imminent trade of Alex Colome, Chris Archer or Evan Longoria. I cannot even fathom the idea of the Rays without Longo. Needless to say, the front office got more inclined and snagged Ryan Schimpf from The San Diego Padres. Actually, this move makes a lot of sense. The Rays gave up minor leaguer Deion Tansel. Being the queer I am, I've always liked Schimpf. I saw him when the Rays hosted San Diego back in 16' and saw a nice little core they had and felt he had something special about him. Apparently 67.4% of his hits goes for extra bases and he is power from the left side of the plate. Again signalling they are giving up on some people on the roster thus far. Schimpf could be a nice addition to the IF that looks like it'll be evenly balanced...let's project Longo/Hech/Ramos/Sucre from the right side of the plate and Bauers/Schimpf/Wendle from the left side. Again, I'm an advocate of keeping Lomo long term (cannot believe I'm saying it but he really has a home with The Rays). Bauers and that sexy smooth swing is coming this year no doubt but then there's also Willy in the wings. I read something that if Longo were to be traded, Matt Duffy will be our starting 3B. MATT WHO?? Chico PLEASE!!!! Front office is really going out there for insurance. Back to the IF though...let's go with Longo, Hech, Willy, Bauers, D-Rob and Ramos anchoring home plate. I like the sound of that! Brad Miller trade is imminent...

"Those sandwiches are fire!" Strawberry declared.

"Yes they were my love, yes they were..."

We went home and made love.

Winghouse on MLK and The "Rebuild"...

The bartender had fake tits with a lazy eye and was a mocha skinned girl with shining makeup that made the night dazzle. She insisted on cutting off the asshole at the end of the bar who was watching the Falcons and Saints game.
"This jerk has been here since three o'clock drinking Bud Light," she explained.
Something told me he was bored with life or bitter...maybe both.
"WHERE'S MY GOD DAMN PHONE CHARGER?!" he roared.
The balding middle aged manager who gave off the impression he loved his job simply due to the environment comes on over and has a little chat with him.
"Just cut him off!" the bartender yelped.
It seemed to escalate the situation.
"YEAH FUCK BOY! CUT ME OFF! ASSHOLE!" he shouted.
All eyes were on them.

I looked up on the screen and saw rumblings of Giancarlo Stanton getting traded to The New York Yankees and couldn't help but think that the AL East was going to be lopsided with only two teams really in the mix anymore...the typical two...THEM. If The Rays were to rebuild, I'm not sure what that even means when they already are at a pretty low payroll. It seems rather strange the idea you'd trade off Chris Archer when we've already lost Alex Cobb to free agency despite the fact we have a lot of pitching depth on the farm that doesn't necessarily translate immediately to the Majors. So even if they do decide to bring up Yarbrough, Chirinos and Honeywell (as expected) who really anchors that rotation? Faria showed signs of being a good number two but ran out of gas. Odo is probably out the door as it is, Andriese is also a big question mark thus leaving The Rays with a lot to consider...trading Archer might be the dumbest thing imaginable but is not unfathomable due to the simple reason The Rays probably won't be competing for anything this year. Say they trade Longo and Archer (GOD FORBID) but let's say it happens, this puts a dagger in this season and probably some more to come. If they dealt Longo they'd absolutely need to fill that position at 3B. They let Patrick Leonard essentially walk for NOTHING, Kean Wong might be that dude and Jake Bauers will probably fill in at 1B if his Spring is like it was last year (kid can rake). Will the Rays go out and sign a second tier 1B out on the market? Maybe get Juan Franco back in a Rays uniform? Would they consider trading off Steven Souza Jr. after his value has increased incredibly? Let's go back to the pitching aspect of things again though...Blake Snell is not that ace we're looking for. He's also a solid number 2 or 3 guy in the rotation. I truly believe where the future lie in this rotation in terms of ace is Brent Honeywell. He's a leader at heart and the way he presents himself on the mound shows that guy you want in a big game situation. The kid has swag and competes hard. There's no doubt though...after letting Chase Whitley walk out the door for nothing after investing so much and trading off Boxberger it seems this front office has a game plan of total rebuild. This may be another dark year ahead and as I don't wish it onto anyone, Kevin Cash has to go too. There's simply no presence or demeanor to the guy. He doesn't seem like one to be a leader either...ugh...there's a common denominator here. The IF seems also as a question mark. Hech probably back at SS, Brad Miller needs to be dealt for a bucket of baseballs because he's overrated and an awful infielder (Willy Adames is the future too). Lomo needs to return, no need to repeat this. If Longo gets dealt, there's a huge hole to fill and as well within the clubhouse. It's almost unthinkable to imagine the Rays without Evan Longoria but is not impossible to consider as his age is creeping up and his value is still very high.

I took a bite out of my wing.
"FINE THEN! I'LL LEAVE! I'VE ONLY SPENT NEARLY A HUNDRED BUCKS HERE TODAY!" he roared.
...on Bud Lite?
The bartender seemed agitated and the manager just stood there fronting a smile and remaining extremely tame.
As the guy walked out he reached out his hand to the bartender for a shake then reversed it when the manager extended his hand out..."Thank you, NOT!" the guy yelled and stormed out.
The bartender shook her head in disgust as her lazy eye pointed east.

Rays Radio Guys and Seeking The Lucrative Meth in Pinellas County...

I was spending too much time in Pinellas County and wasn't at all happy about it.

"Alright man, when we get there, you just shut up and let me do the talking. You know how these Mexicans can be," my buddy explains as we roll up on The Palm Tree Trailer Park.

It was your typical layout of a trailer park where random bastard children roamed, veterans continued feeding their addictions, the parents sat inside wallowing about their personal woes/tragedies and the drugs flowed freely. 

"This shit is so good he has," my buddy cried.

Hector was our man we were meeting with and how they knew each other was a mystery. He got out of the car while I stayed inside observing the park.

"Hector! Que pasa amigo?!" he roared.

These things tend to work themselves out. There were some kids playing with old toys and laughing.

My buddy went inside as I turned onto 620 WDAE. 

Holiday Flex Packs! A perfect idea gift for any Rays Fan! The radio declared.

The deal was going down no less and the airwaves triggered some random thoughts...

There's something to be said about how the radio can still trigger the imagination in indescribable ways. Despite it being the year 2017 The Year of Our Lord, MLB still keeps intact the radio broadcasting for baseball and one would argue this is something cultural within the realms of the sport. It is a sport of strategy and though. Slowly paced, Every pitch matters. When you listen to other sports via radio it truly invokes the imagination differently as opposed to hearing a baseball game. I honestly prefer listening to games on the radio than watching it on TV (plus the stadium the Rays play at make it unbearable). There's something about how Dave and Andy describe the game and in their particular ways that make Rays Baseball distinct for their respective audience. When I was in the pen for verbal abuse and aggravated assault, I still had the chance to have a transmitter radio (yes, honest to God) and listen to the games that second half. There's something intriguing when Neil Solondz comes up that first hour Sunday morning and give the This Week in Rays Baseball report about the minor leagues, random players little biographies and a recap of the week's games. Something so simple could bring so much joy to a life. Baseball is the self-proclaimed "Greatest Past Time in America" and after spending sometime in the pen again with that little transmitter radio, I can agree with the statement. Are we so bored as a civilization that we need endless past times to fill our time and lives? aybe America's definition of culture is past time, which is to say, bored. Every time I hear the voices of Dave and Andy I know that somewhere, at sometime, there are fellow fans going about their daily lives and tuning in to Rays Baseball from all over the world. I've heard other radio crews and can honestly tell you that it feels foreign. Almost as foreign as one would feel in the far stretches of Cuba, Columbia, Japan, South Korea or Italy. There's something auxiliary to a team and that is the culture that is surrounded by it (for better or worse). In The Rays vein it is something particular/peculiar for it's small audience and with the upcoming years with the stadium issue and limited payroll, what remains consistent are the voices that continue to follow them; whether it be through the drudgery of losing or the high appraisal of winning. Every time I hear the replay of Dave and Andy yelling The Rays are going to The World Series! It invokes emotions and images that only true fans understand.

"Alright bro, let's get the fuck outta here!" my buddy declares. 

We lit up and let the sun splash through the windshield. 

"Damn, this is some good shit,"

Flex Packs are a great gift for any Rays Fans! The radio announced.

"I don't get how you watch baseball, it's so boring," my buddy snickered taking a hit.

Most people in Pinellas County were like this.

"You just don't get it,"

...most people on this side of the Bay didn't.

A Chinese Prostitute and The Curious Case of Tropicana Field...

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Brad Boxberger Gets Abducted By Aliens in Arizona and Playing GM While Smoking Spice...

What's more American than being impoverished? Thanking God everyday for it...
For reasons still unknown I was drinking in the only legitimate waterhole on Central close to the water and wondered why do I keep coming to a place I absolutely loathe? Perhaps the things you hate the most you must submerge yourself into deeper to have a better understanding of your reasons of hatred.
"What'll it be today buddy?" the fat bartender asked.
She had a clover leaf tattoo.
"Coors Lite,"
The TV was glowing showing some more nonsense about this country's president who kept on stirring up madness among the world.
"How's your day going?" she asked.
I didn't really know.
"I don't know,"
She looked seemed slightly perturbed by this answer.
"You're funny," she chuckled lighting up a cigarette.
Peer pressure is a mother fucker so I lit up too.
"Say lady, you know where I can score some spice?"
Without a hint she reached underneath the counter and passed me a little sack.
I went out front and lit up. A couple walked by and the guy was wearing a Rays hat. How the mind rambles when inebriated...

Brad Boxberger was traded to The Arizona Diamondbacks for a young pitcher who seemed to get his work in in Class A but was set back due to injuries. Boxy was an integral part of the bullpen in 15' and setback in 16' and wasn't all that great this year in 17'. He had an arbitration of over a little one million dollars so maybe this was a scheme for a Rays "salary dump". I read on Twitter the other day if you go to a Catholic University apparently you understand the business side of baseball as opposed to the fan base (hence the ugly empty "stadium" night in, night out).
Let's play God for a second...
If I were GM for a day and completely reboot the program, what would this God do? Let me see here: I would trade off Longoria for a boatload of prospects to the Atlanta Braves because their 3B has been empty since Chipper Jones retired, which is to say, a revolving door of wife beaters and randoms. Despite The Braves getting nailed for cheating, their farm system is still quite deep and could be a good moment for the Rays to capitalize on position players. Despite Evan Longoria being a franchise player, the dude wants to win and won't be doing that here for a long time especially with Kevin Cash leading the ship to the iceberg.
I would trade off Jake Odorizzi to the Twins because they are in desperate need of starting pitching with the playoffs set in their sites with a good core and I still believe that he can be a good 3-4 starter and they have the depth to do it as well.
Brad Miller should go but he won't because he's had yet another bad year so he's economical, which for The Rays is interesting because it's a gamble kinda like Lomo last year (whom they should also bring back but probably won't).
Colome should stay put. Period.
Archer should get traded to The Cardinals because they as well are deep enough for a haul and/or the reigning champs Astros because surely they are trying to compete again and have the depth needed to build their dynasty. That would anchor a one-two of Blake Snell and Jake Faria. If Spring goes well, electric wild man Jose DeLeon and Brent Honeywell make Opening Day Roster. Perhaps we should go out and get a veteran, hmm, let's make the Jake Odorizzi trade to The Braves for Matt Adams and bring in Jake Bauers Opening Day too. Kid rakes anyhow. Oh what about Corey Dickerson? What about ole' Dickerson? Meh, let's trade him off to The Dodgers or Athletics for some more prospects. Gotta rid the system anyhow! Bring up Jake Bauers and Wong! Looking ahead...I know at the trade deadline we'll fall off so let's prepare Wilson Ramos for some depth in Durham. Hell, let's send him somewhere REALLY random! The Brewers could use some catching depth for another try for the playoffs in a thick NL Central! What about fatboy Matt Andriese? The Angels seem to take anything that heads their way so let's get something out of that too. Maybe some more position players or send him to the Phillies for some young talent? The Phillies have no pitching so Andriese could be a nice addition in a trash town like that (see Hellickson's tenure there). Despite how they look in Spring, gonna bring up Yarbrough and Chirinos. Why not? Our AAA team looked good last year! That should trim the payroll to a meager fifty million so let's give Alex Cobb a nice little contract proposal and lock up Mallex Smith. Yes, stocking the pipeline sir.
Only if...

"That spice has me really buzzing,"
The bartender gave me a coy look.
"What?"
I was confused.
"It was actually crack buddy," she laughed.
It would explain the madness...